Yesterday, we had a small dinner party. An american joined us, and to be blunt I havn`t met a lot americans...being in America. We ate, we drank we laughed and then collapsed in the sofas with more beers. The disussions surfaced, the issues being everything seeking consensus, which ended up being America. For hours we continued, and Scott - the american - if he didn`t say more, at least said this:

Fuck the South. Fuck 'em. We should have let them go when they wanted
to leave. But no, we had to kill half a million people so they'd stay
part of our special Union. Fighting for the right to keep slaves -
yeah, those are states we want to keep.

And now what do we get? We're the fucking Arrogant Northeast Liberal
Elite? How about this for arrogant: the South is the RealAmerica?
TheAuthenticAmerica. Really?

Cause we fucking founded this country, assholes. ThoseFounding Fathers
you keep going on and on about? All that bullshit about what you think
they meant by the Second Amendment giving you the right to keep
yourassault weapons in the glove compartment because you didn't bother
to read thefirst half of the fucking sentence? Who do you think those
wig-wearing lacy-shirt sportingrevolutionaries were? They were fucking
blue-staters, dickhead. Boston? Philadelphia? New York? Hello? Think
there might be a reason all the fuckingmonuments are up here in our
backyard?

No, No. Get the fuck out. We're not letting you visit the Liberty Bell
and fucking Plymouth Rock anymore until you get over your realAmerican
selves and start respecting those other nine amendments. Who do you
think those fucking stripes on the flag are for? Nine are for fucking
blue states. And it would be 10 if those Vermonters had gotten their
fucking Subarus together and broken off from New York a little
earlier. Get it? We started this shit, so don't get all uppity about
how real you are you Johnny-come-lately "Oooooh I've been a state
foralmost a hundred years" dickheads. Fuck off.

Arrogant? You wanna talk about us Northeasterners being fucking
arrogant? What's more American than arrogance? Hmmm? Maybehorsies? I
don't think so. Arrogance is the fucking cornerstone of what it means
to be American. And I wouldn't be so fucking arrogant if I wasn't
paying for your fucking bridges, bitch.

All those Federal taxes you love to hate? It allcomes from us and goes
to you, so shut up and enjoy your fuckingTennessee Valley Authority
electricity and your fancy highways that we paid for. And the next
time Florida gets hit by a hurricane you can come crying to us if you
want to, but you're the ones who built on a fucking swamp. "Let the
Spanish keep it, it's a shithole," we said, but you had to have your
fucking orange juice.

The next dickwad who says, "It's your money, not the government's
money" is gonna get their ass kicked. Nine of the ten states that get
the most federal fucking dollars and pay the least... can you guess?
Go on, guess. That's right, motherfucker, they're red states. And
eight of the ten states that receive the least and pay the most? It's
too easy, asshole, they're blue states. It's not yourmoney, assholes,
it's fuckingourmoney. What was that Real American Value you were
spouting a minute ago? Self reliance? Try this for self reliance: buy
your own fucking stop signs, assholes.

Let's talk about those values for a fucking minute. You and your
Southern values can bite my ass because the blue states got the values
over you fucking Real Americans every day of the goddamn week. Which
state do you think has the lowest divorce rate you marriage-hyping
dickwads? Well? Can you guess? It's fuckingMassachusetts, the fucking
center of the gay marriage universe. Yes, that's right, the state you
love to tie around the neck of anyone to the left of Strom Thurmond
has the lowest divorce rate in the fucking nation. Think that's just
someaberration? How about this: 9 of the 10 lowest divorce rates are
fucking blue states, asshole, and most are in the Northeast, where our
values suck so bad. And where are the highest divorce rates? Care to
fucking guess? 10 of the top 10 are fucking red-ass
we're-so-fucking-moral states. And while Nevada is the worst, the
Bible Belt is doing its fucking part.

But two guys making out is going to fucking ruin marriage for you?
Yeah? Seems like you're ruining it pretty well on your own, you little
bastards. Oh, but that's ok because you go to church, right? I mean
you do, right? Cause we fucking get to hear about it every goddamn
year at election time. Yes, we're fascinated by how you get up every
Sunday morning and sing, and then you're fucking towers of moral
superiority. Yeah, that's a workable formula. Maybe us fucking
Northerners don't talk about religion as much as you because we're not
so busy sinning, hmmm? Ever think of that, you self-righteous
assholes? No, you're too busyerecting giant stone tablets of the Ten
Commandments in buildings paid for by the fucking Northeast Liberal
Elite. And who has thehighest murder rates in the nation? It ain't us
up here in the North, assholes.

Well this gravy train is fuckingover. Take your liberal-bashing,
federal-tax-leaching, confederate-flag-waving, holier-than-thou,
hypocritical bullshit and shove it up your ass.

And no, you can't have your fucking convention in New York next time.

Fuck you!