August 29, 2008

"That is so you. You promise to stupid up my day, and then you stay away. In spite of the rhime, thats just plain...yes, stupid."
"I gave it up when it dawned upon me that you still think we can change anything.."
"But you was the first to say it, that you change constantly..."
"Yea, I do, but stuff doesnt, thats the problem."
"What stuff?"
"Stupid stuff..."
"I give up."
"There you have it see?"
"You are dining alone today honey..."

August 27, 2008

"Thats about the stupidest thing you`ve done for a very long time, I just started respecting you again...".
That was the first she said, and he could almost see her saying it before she said it.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid..."
They had an old habbit of meeting for a quick morning coffee before heading to work.
"Why am I not surprised of your approach?" He said to himself.
"About what?" she replied. "Dont start defending yourself or the decision..."
"It wasn`t a decision, it never is -it was a need, can you respect that, and why do you care or why should I care what the you think? If you have already lost respect once, why should I wanna regain it. What are you, pricemoney?"
"But when you start smoking, I most probably will too..."
"Now thats stupid! How can you even talk about respect or not having respect? Hurry up and look like someone who didn`t say that". He laughed.
"Now you are being stupid agian...You are not nice, you change when you smoke..."
"I change constantly, thats the sad truth of it all. The more I try to stick to a center the more it slips...Do want to know what is really stupid? Something that you should care about...?"
"No! dont be like that!"
"Be like what? You started this issue..."
"But I don`t want to know.."
"Well, you are gonna know, later, tomorrow, today, -whatever - there to much stupid shit you apparently ought to know off."
"Don`t patronise me you fuck!
"I dont, I am just being a stupid prick. Tomorrow! I tell tomorrow its gonna be shitstupid!"
"See you at lunch..?"
"Allright then."

August 26, 2008

He took up smoking again-  cigarettes - knowing after a while that he would surely stop. Not because of the health issue, but because he would - as before - have to face the fact that after months of smoking the mere fact of lightning up the smokes and tipping the ash from them would constitute a project.

And, this was the third time he did so. Three strikes and you are out.

August 25, 2008

So there he was. in the hammering mist, central to modernity, but with no digital solutions to his problems. Isolation is the one thing that is selfsufficient.

August 23, 2008

Except for the beaches, rivers and creeks in forests. Thats nature at its best, there is sense and purpose. Bridges scared him shitless, flying over over the ocans likewise. Nature though did what nature do best, engulfed him, but that he thought is really just another way of disappearring. Fuck it, he thought, where is it he could roam free without negotiating the terms? Or was it, he thougt, precisely that, negotiating the terms, that would ultimately set him free, to find or regain the balance, to experience fairness, loose the naivity, face the facts, work harder, be real and openminded, act like, you know, that life is basicly like driving a car in traffic - there are rules that makes a lot of sense: Was that, he thought, slightly disappointed, it? Wroooum. He stock his head a little more firm, deeper up the crown of the tree till it went dark and nothing but smells remained.

August 22, 2008

He was thinking that these waters doesnt care whether or not the bridge is down, it flows right through. Clear but cold. The fear of drowning was always way to close.

August 21, 2008

They left the pub having celebrated his 49th bitrhday. The streets were crowded, warm but dark and noisy and he wanted to head home, obviously drunk:
"I think my streetcred is at a historical low..." he said trying to wave a taxi.
"I really hope that you thínk so", she answered.

August 20, 2008

A little further into Naomi Kleins book (The Rise og diaster Capitalism) I remembered that I forgot to mention that the good people of have been granted free proces making it possible to take their case to The HighCourt.

Their case being about Denmarks involment in The Iraq war, which leads me to quote from the military doctrin and Klein`s book) that constituted the strategy and approach to the Iraq invasion, the infamous "Shock and Awe, achieving rapid dominance" (blitzkrieg(?))-doctrine:

"...Shock and awe is constituted by actions that creates fear and destruction, which people in general is incapable of understanding, in specific element and sectors in society or the administration. Like in nature in the shape of tornadoes, tropical storms, earthquakes, tsunamis and flash floods, uncontrollable fires, hunger and diseases can provoke Shock and Awe."

And so, onward we went headon to war...

August 19, 2008

starting another new job today from which I will probably get sacked within a year I will also regretfully have less time for this:

(I have current status of approx. nr. 600 on the highscorelist. Its stops at 500.)

August 18, 2008

I am not buying it, I am not listnening to it but I bet I am gonna hear a lot about it. Allthough I do believe that the blogosphere has too many blogs dissing without content, to much aimlless bitching, feeble demarktionlines and backstapping.... dispite this, the increddible silly and tame danish popdua ZIDIDADA release a new album today which I will spend time hating. Oh the simple minds... but as they so brightly sang earlier on: "everyday is a holiday a zididadaday zididada day...."

August 17, 2008

Yesterday I bought and started reading Naomi Kleins new epic book: "The Shock Doctrine. The Rise of disasterCapitalism". I have over a longer period been a bonafide fan of Naomi Klein and is a firm believer that she is one of the most sharpminded critics and observer of The State of Things. I heard her speak at UCSC in 2005 - it gave me a lasting impression, which leads me to today to re-post this little memoriable from then:

"...downscale the doom and gloom attitude of my earlier posting..? No can do! After yersterdays lecture by superwoman Naomi Klein, I`ll have to use days to percieve and swallow the magnitude of her wit, her research, her harsh and fresh to the point critique of US and Big Business involment in Iraq.

She had me scribble like a madman, but during the Q&A session she never made it to my question written on cards that was passed around. My question was: "Do you find the republican and general rightwing determination to get what they want stronger than their belief in democracy per se? If already answered, turn the card over. .. How can I possible get a date with you?"

august sounds of copenhagen. dub it down. some sweet tunes here from the infinite nice guys of


I like infinite nice stuff...

August 16, 2008

She said: "All the places I fucked are mine forever. They are not that many, and quantity is not the point here, the point is they are mine and only i know where. It helps me make sense, to wave that little flag you see?"

August 15, 2008

colours of consumerism sucking it up and spitting it out all brands will do anything to please only to get it right Oh what a blow that phantom ghost gives me it outs all colours and match the transpenrency of water like numbness blue reds on the green
white while breathing flat on the sand
surfing kicks of addiction that surrender your expectations hope and competence
no will whatsoever
muscle dicks and cunts rivers of lust vast corners of dispair
jet hat mothers and daughters fathers and sons sin
climb up the moutains
and down
to the moonshape valley and onward to yardsale city

everybody leave before thy neighbour
locked and loaded

August 12, 2008

Mom calls because I previously had called her. She just learned how to check out her incomings on her new cell. I hadn`t talked to her for months, not since dad died, not really, and everytime she calls its a reminder of how trifle our communication really is. We talk, or rather she talks and most things are terrifying in her words. It isn`t inly her aging, it has been like that for years.
Its early morning, around 0900 - June - I have thrown myself in the smoothing shadow of a wheeping willow at the cementary. Havn`t slept after an almost impossible night on too much brown vodka playing pool with way too young girls in way too disturbing proportions. Having had nothing else but coffee and cigarettes this morning, halfway into the conversation, I really need to take a dump. I`m trying to fight it off, I bite my answers and sentences.
"Mum, I am in a bit of a hury here", I lie. "Was there anything special you wanted to say?"
"Mrs. Larsen called me the other day, to tell me how much you reminded her of Dad when you gave that s h o r t speach at his funeral..."
"I take that as a compliment mum, and give my best to mrs. Larsen. Now, I really gotta run."

I race home, but it is obvious that I cant make it. I am sick, my stommick is sick. I stop at a cafe, order a coffee and head straight for the toilet. I dispite the loss of control.
Damn, if I remind so much about my dad I might as well have been dead with him. Ofcourse, I remember the funreal and emphatize with the lack of strategies to cope with death. I remember the speach, that brought tears to my eyes, my voice blurred and insecure. But I had tought that it was a good speech, not too long or emotional. It was love and forgiveness and sportsmetphor as a badly hidden critic of Dads almost infantile reluctance towards phsysic activities. Non the less it was a speech that I worked on, and wanted to give, I even planned to finish by playing one of Dads all time favourite jazz-track - "Hymn to Freedom" as perfomed by Oscar peterson- as an attempt to refine the emphaty and to express to the guests that I knew dad better than most, them, the guest, mostly remembering me for being a longhaired a´buser they hadnt seen for some 20 odd years, and everything that had happened - or rightfully hadnt happened in their mindsets, was that abuse is non-negotiable - its locked in theri in your barcode, and even if it would be scientifically proven that facts were different, the brand sticks, I come out as a lesser person because it is still morally corrupt.

Its the world that wont go away.

August 11, 2008

great, so we have another Georgia on my mind and China fires rockets to control the weather(!)....dry monday. Though ressourcefull in the core of things it is starting to look like one big major incompetence.

August 10, 2008

"I am afraid" said the storekeeper "that if we talk about the future too much right now, it will be too cheap in the end. The world might be a car without a steeringwheel, but to me it seems that everything is lined ud in endless staight and discplined lines and ques, and that is" he said looking away, "how it will also end. The more foreseable, the cheaper..."

August 08, 2008

His hair slick and calmed back, tight, tight like he does it every sunday. As sticky as the well ironed grey trousers and the brown shirt tugged in, he really looks like a wet towel and everything ends in a nightmare of white socks and matching white sailor-shoes. 

It only all to well matches the amount of shit he allows himself to say, indifferences, it most be his ass talking but I can see his lips moving, and I hear him being cheered to go on, I dont know, I could be wrong and him right, I know I am in the wrong place, but that doesnt help me. He ass is wider than the barstool, he seems to merge with it, It aint nice of me to think like this, that is what I consider before I leave and why I must leave: This really aint good. 

In their smile an idea but I dont know which. That smile have come home from somewhere.

August 07, 2008

I am serious, Im firm, I am grim, sad and severe. I am unpleasent, profound, harmful, as venturesome as i am stern: acute and crucial, deperate, major, vital and dignified, uemotional and heavy, important and most of all pathetic in the attempt to pin down my day.

I will never come around to nailing her by playing cards.

56o acres of forest went up in a fire, ablaze and the sun didnt show, we stayed in and got drunk, then tried shopping and baking bread, got misunderstood by locals and ran along the shore, sardine missiles, then by lucky chance we fucked and washed and fried potatoes in the remaining oil from yesterdays food, finished books began new ones, washed clothes and did the dishes, acted up like in a straight flush. Norm in and norm out. The bright fair, tranquile unflappable life. Consistent and reliable. I fold.

race class and gender sexes in all shades oh yi gather round for di man is coming our way in all shapes red face mostly hives and tail enjoying the view from the hills to the luxury of doing good afloat jesus like on a fucking raft piece of shit it is so dark in that sea.

nothing flows on bonsai coast.

August 06, 2008

the excuses are many, none are good, but still working and in progress.

August 04, 2008

Here we go again. In more ways than one...

The dangerously potent DF (Dansih peoples Party) is at it again with yet another media campaign feeding the danes with more fear of the unknown.

Protesting against an EU court ruling, that might or might not, have definitive influence on the danish migration legislation - accordingly to DF, a ruling that will neglect and underminde danish democracy - DF turns to what the do best, namely and as mentioned: Whip the people with fear, make the scapegoat your populistic stronghold.

The headæline in this campaign reads: Who is in charge in Denmark? The danes or the EU? Basicly what they (DF) are saying is, that if the EU court ruling is assimilated to dansih migration laws, they - as in DF - will or intend to overule the government and pull the support, and thus, they anihilated their own campaign by gaining the power, just as the accuse the EU.

Ergo: The headline could therefore have read: Who rules Denmark? The Danes or Danish Peoples Party?

DF fears that the EU ruling blow the borders wide open allowing migrants from the "most remote corners of the world" to flood Denmark. The retorics are clear as daylight. Everything remote is candide, to be feared, a threat, with a crimainal or subversive intend.

But what is remote? Or by saying remote it is done. Its a question of colour, race or religion.

But is not Alaska remote? Or The Philipines? Or Chritsmas island? Or The Far east, or the Middle East. Or by saying anything remote, are they really saying that Denmark is the center? Compared to what? Denmark?

Im looking forward to see PM Rasmussen balance this one home.

August 01, 2008

though she filled the lake with tears
the water stayed plum
the night dark
and daylight failed to show